This is that time of night before I go to sleep where I think ‘what if something serious happened to me’. I begin to play out a scene where I get in a car accident and fall into a coma for like 2 weeks. Then I wake up and everyone is glad that I’m back. Idk it just makes me feel like id be missed if I were gone. I know it’s not really how things would go if something bad happened to me and I definitely know it wouldn’t be a big deal if I died but I just like pretending that I mean something to someone once in a while. That’s sort of the reason why I keep going with life I guess. You can take away all my happiness and all my possessions but you can’t take away my thoughts. I’ll always be able to imagine and I will always be able to convince myself that I’m worth anything to anyone. Even if it’s only for 10 minutes before bed, it still helps.
Now I know what I want I want some fucking alcohol. Not about that weed life anymore but I just need some way of forgetting how pathetic my existence is why am I thinking about this now.).8,8./)/)1) wtfff should I do a rant yes I should
Part of me wishes that people knew the troubles of my day to day life. I want people to understand all the shit I put up with. But I don’t want all attention me.
I just want the kindness of people.
But I don’t want the pity.
I don’t know what I want
What the fuck
Ajzhhzajggagahahujz wtf ugh
I find it funny how everyone always expects a smile on my face and I’m probably the saddest and loneliest kid I know..